Key Highlights:
- TikTok creator @thevalerieadams outlined three behaviors she says men seeking long-term relationships would avoid during early dating.
- Her advice focused on discussing other women, asking to slow the relationship down and failing to maintain regular communication or make advance plans.
- Some commenters supported her message, while others argued that taking time and avoiding territorial behavior can be healthy in a new relationship.
Valerie Adams Shares Three Early-Dating Warning Signs
A TikTok posted by dating creator @thevalerieadams on February 15 presented three behaviors she believes a man who wants a serious relationship would avoid in the early stages of dating. The video had received about 29,700 likes, 4,396 saves, 88 comments and 485 shares at the time of publication.
Valerie introduced the list as behaviors a man who likes someone “would never do in the early stages of dating.” She also previewed the final point by telling viewers, “He’s probably not looking for something long term, especially if he’s done number three.”
The Three Behaviors Highlighted in the TikTok
Valerie’s first point concerned a man discussing other women with the person he is dating. She said, “He’s not going to use his precious time with you to talk about other women. He doesn’t want you to think, gosh, there’s so many other women in the picture. I must have competition.” She added that “he sees it as unhelpful if he were to be talking about other women.”
Her second concern was a man asking to slow down or take a step back. Valerie said, “he is not going to ask you to slow down or let’s take a step back.” She argued that “he knows that momentum is very valuable in the early stages of dating.” Describing the relationship dynamic she wants viewers to expect, she said, “He wants to be moving things forward with you.” Valerie then added, “It just isn’t smart if he wants something long term with you.”
The third behavior involved a man failing to position himself as a priority in the relationship. Valerie said a man who wants to date someone would not put himself in a position “for another man to swoop in.” She linked that point to confidence, explaining, “When you hold that energy and see yourself that way, other men pick up on that.” In her view, the man’s reaction should be, “Wait, I need to be top of mind.”
Valerie further defined the communication she considers appropriate in a developing relationship: “He’s reaching out to you regularly,” followed by, “Communication is pretty standard. And most importantly, he’s following through with making solid plans in advance with you.” She concluded with the advice, “You have too much value to offer to let yourself get caught up in this.”
Mixed Reactions From TikTok Viewers
Several commenters responded to Valerie’s point about conversations involving other women. One viewer wrote, “All he does is talk about his exs… im [sic] sick and tired of hearing about them…”
Another viewer echoed Valerie’s emphasis on standards, writing, “I am ready for a meaningful connection with the right man,” and adding, “I’m single, but my standards are not.” Valerie had also advised viewers, “Do not settle for a man who does these things and confuses you.”
Other commenters challenged the final two points. One wrote, “I’m sorry but [the final two items] are not true at all, I actually think they’re healthy,” before adding, “Healthy men will let things unfold naturally and take their time,” and, “[…] they definitely shouldn’t be territorial in the early days.”
@thevalerieadams Three things a man who sees a future with you would NEVER do in the early stages of dating ?? If the man you’re seeing has done any of these things, he may not be looking for the level of committed, healthy relationship that you want. Do not settle for a man who confuses you or makes you question whether you’re a priority or not. Want to be guided through the exact inner work to do to attract a man who’s ready for a serious, healthy relationship? Head to the ? on my page to learn about resources and ways I can support you ? . . . #dating #datingadvice #relationships #situationship #highvaluewoman ♬ original sound – Valerie | Dating Coach
Why This Matters
The TikTok reflects a broader online dating discussion about communication, relationship momentum, exclusivity and the difference between uncertainty and a healthy pace. Valerie Adams framed consistent outreach and advance planning as signs of serious interest, while commenters noted that allowing a relationship to develop gradually can also be healthy.
The Daily Dot said it was unable to independently verify the claims described in the TikTok. The details reflect @thevalerieadams’ account as shared on TikTok. Valerie Adams’ identity and credentials, along with those of the commenters, have not been confirmed.
Frequently Asked Questions
What three behaviors did Valerie Adams identify?
She discussed a man talking about other women, asking to slow down or take a step back, and failing to maintain regular communication or make solid plans in advance.
How did TikTok users respond?
Some viewers agreed with Valerie Adams and shared concerns about hearing too much about an ex-partner. Others said taking time and avoiding territorial behavior can be healthy during the early stages of dating.
Were Valerie Adams’ claims independently verified?
No. The Daily Dot reported that it could not independently verify the claims in the TikTok, and it said the identities and credentials of Valerie Adams and the commenters had not been confirmed.